Does Marriage Counseling Work – Another Look at Its Pros and Cons

Do you feel like your marriage has reached a point that professional help is your only recourse? Have you every wondered if marriage counselors possess the power to fix the marital problems that you and your spouse cannot? How effective is marriage counseling, really? A lot of married couples resort to it when they feel that they have already exhausted all the possible ways of reaching a solution to the problems of matrimony. And while marriage counseling does fix certain problems, there are still some incidents wherein it seems to be more of a harm then help. Like most professional and methodological approaches to reaching a solution, marriage counseling has its own set of pros and cons. Of course, majority opinion is that you won’t really know the answer to the question “does marriage counseling work” unless you yourself would try it out. However, marriage counseling can be expensive and it might not fit the kind of lifestyle you and your spouse you have. Some husbands do not believe in counseling, and the wives might be persistent. In this case, having a marriage counselor becomes another problem for the couple to face. Below is a simple take on the apparent pros and cons of marriage counseling.

Pro: Outsider’s view

Husbands and wives often become too cooped up in their complicated web of disagreements and misunderstandings that they would need someone from outside the situation to clear up the smoke and help them reach a possible solution. In this case, marriage counseling could be their best bet. Apart from the fact that they will they be guided by a professional who is well aware of the techniques in achieving marital bliss, having a marriage counselor will save them from the burden of sifting through their marital woes without having to add more fights and disagreements as they undertake the process. Couples also become blinded by their emotions that they will fail to spot holes in the situation and possible solutions that are most likely hovering above their heads already. In such cases, an outsider’s point of view is essential and it gives you a resounding YES as an answer to the question of “does marriage counseling work?”

Con: Possibility for error

Does marriage counseling work and is it error-free? Of course, it isn’t. The main problem with it is that you can’t really tell your counselor what happens in your relationship 24/7 when you only have an hour or two of counseling. This makes you summarize points and there exists the possibility of you leaving out pertinent points that could help the counselor in drawing out better conclusion, and ultimately, sound advice. There is a margin for error, and unfortunately, in most relationships, even the slightest of mistakes can cause an inevitable separation.

Pro: Intervention

If couples could work out their marital problems on their own, then there would be no need for counseling now, would there? But the problem is that they can’t. They need someone to actually step in and intervene. In this regard, marriage counseling works. A professional intervention forces the couple to take a pause and welcome outside help.

Con: Timeliness and efficiency

Does marriage counseling work only on a specific period in the marriage and is its efficiency tested and proven? The main problem is that marriage counseling is perceived to work only on certain times within the relationship. Sometimes, it’s too early to have marriage counseling. And other times, it’s too late. When this happens, counseling is an obvious waste of time and energy for the couple. There’s a proper time to heed the call for marriage counseling and much of its efficiency depends on this. Couples must bear the humility of admitting that they cannot patch things up—and fast. But they must also try to fix things on their own first. Not everything can be put on counseling. You cannot rely solely on it. After all, your marriage counselor is just a guide. The miracle worker would still be the couple itself.

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